Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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