there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
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This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize