we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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