flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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