i think my mom watched the whole time
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize