If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I need to stop coming to work sober
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize