that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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