U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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