is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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