If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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