I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize