just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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