Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
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A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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