He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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