He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize