Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize