I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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