i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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