I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize