I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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