just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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