Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
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This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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