my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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