I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize