My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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