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Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
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