Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize