he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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