My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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