please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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