I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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