I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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