somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
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I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
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He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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