I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize