ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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