Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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