It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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