We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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