with your own penis?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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