Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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