JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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