She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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