dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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