I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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