so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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