Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I forget how to act sober
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize