I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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