dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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