Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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