is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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